The Earth Yoni

Imagine, if you will, a small wood cabin, on the edge of an oak and redwood forest. It is hand-made, and I mean, hand-made. It consists of a living-room area, a bed area, and a tiny kitchen. It is festooned with cobwebs and the lighting system would be up to code if you lived in the 1930's (in a small hand-built shack in the woods). The door to the bedroom is broken and left open. Sometimes the resident gray cat, who goes by the name of Teddy, will catch something and leave whatever he doesn't eat under the bed. It's his sign of sharing. Once I found a small dessicated kestrel under the bed, wings outspread.

And now imagine the resident of this quaint, and yet funky little cottage—a man who built this house back in the early '70's (1970's that is) and now about to turn the corner at 90, still lives here. Think of this man who has lived on his own for the last 20 years, since his wife died. He is strong for his age, and was a strong and very virile man throughout his life. For those who know him, this man exudes energy that is not necessarily sexual, but believe me, still at his age, there is a certain testosterone energy about him. He can barely see, due to increasing macular degeneration, yet when a woman comes to visit him, and there are a number that do, holding this man with some sort of unknown reverence, he is able to later say: That girl was so pretty don't you think?

Meet Bob Nash, my neighbor, friend and in a strange way, for me, a guide for how to live gracefully, naturally and without a mean spirited bone in his body. Bob has always had an eye for the girls. As long as I have known him (about 12 or so years now), he has always had truly loving and very kind energy for women of all ages. It's stunning to me that young and old are so compelled by him. Stunning in a good way, of course. He is the epitome of a gentleman—kind, gracious, caring, flattering, incredibly alert and intelligent, and of course, flirtatious.

As the caretaker for the property where I live, and where Bob also lives, I am often over there at this ramshackle little place that he calls home. I go to deliver food, or turn on his propane water heater, or sometimes sweep and clean, drop trees that might otherwise fall on his flimsy little shack, change lightbulbs, you get the idea.

So... imagine Bob, this bearded and elderly gentleman, and the door that leads to the outdoors from his bedroom. Imagine the energy that flows from his bed, to the floor, to the doorway, onto the small deck, and then into the earth right there, right next to where he stands, naked at ANY time of the year, come hot or damned cold, or in between, underneath the sprinkle of his outdoor shower.

And as you imagine this amazing energy that emanates from this man and his house, and how the earth receives this energy, try to visualize the most exquisitely erotic and beautiful earth-goddess representation that could possibly emerge.

It was a sunny day on the Big Sur coast, February 16th of 2007, to be precise. My friend Steve (who helps wonderfully by driving to Monterey to shop for Bob, and also takes him to the clinic, etc) were cleaning up Bob's garden space, and re-configuring the shower area. We pruned back a straggly apple tree, and for some reason, I started to make an easier path from Bob's back door to his shower. I started to rake the thick duff of oak leaves away from the wall.

But wait! A small hint of bright orange caught my attention. Right here? A chanterelle right next to the house? Score! I got down on my knees and looked. Sure enough, a couple of small but not inconsequential golden mushrooms were there for the taking. I pulled out my knife, and carefully cut the stem, but as I did so, a closer look from my vantage point on my knees, showed yet another edge of a mushroom. I peeled back the layers of leaves surrounding what was obviously a sizable fungus. And what revealed itself (herself, actually) to me was the truest exaltation and gift to Bob Nash's spirit and energy that one could possibly consider.

A true Goddess of the land! An earth yoni. A sensual line and groove furrowed into the golden flesh of the most exquisite chanterelle that has ever been found. A recreation in nature of the feminine form unlike any other that I have ever seen in my life. A few small leaves plastered themselves to her firm flesh, and speckles of dirt clung to the edges that rippled solidly. She smelled like the forest - fecund, rich, brown, fresh, heady. She was solidly built, firm, fleshy, rich and enticing. She was almost heavy in the hand, and yet graceful, unwavering in her own sense of beauty and mystical, yes, mystical energy.

AND, coincidentally, she was edible!

I could not let her stay in the forest, next to the cabin where she was. She would have been trodden on, or worse, just left to fade and rot, become sodden with the next rains, and wither away. No! This beauty had to be shared with the world, if only for a few short days. She needed to be shown. And it was imperative that the world saw that indeed nature is the most graceful and impeccably artistic force on the planet. Plus, I also wanted to go down in history as finding THE most sensually visual expression of the blessed female form imaginable. And then, after displaying her watching people's awe and admiration, she would be lovingly consumed, cooked slowly and ritually enjoyed. And I have to tell you, reader and friends, that this without a doubt, the very tastiest chanterelle I have ever enjoyed.

I doubt that I shall ever see or find another beauty like this. But who knows, somewhere in some woods there is a man much like Bob—pouring good and sensual energy out into the world to manifest itself in some exquisitely feminine form.

Now the question remains:

Would you like to find this?







Or THIS?









So, for those of you who wish to enjoy a variety of fabulous gourmet-cooked chanterelles and learn much more about mushrooms than I could ever tell you, get thee down to the Big Sur Chanterelle Cook-Off Weekend at Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park on the weekend of February 22nd, where yours truly will be the auctioneer for some outstanding items all to benefit local charitable causes.

Two Goddesses

Photographs by Steve Weintz